Haven`t been on here in a while.

Pretty much cuz I fail at being ana & mia. Sure, I lost 10 pounds in one week in the month of...August I think? But yah, after that, I started eating again cuz I`m a stupid loser that loves food. I`m a fatass. Then after that I was throwing up my meals, till I quit doing THAT, too, cuz I need to have the energy to run cross country.  But once cross country season ends, I`m going to work on losing 20+ pounds. I am HUGE. Ugh..
So today I`ve been drinking straight up rubbing alcohol. Tastes nasty as hell that I could cry. I guess you could call this my fifth attempt at suicide. Maybe I`ll die, maybe I`ll throw up blood, or some shit lmao. I don`t care.
I just want to be dead. I`m sick of all this shit. I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate my eating disorder always telling me I`m too fat to be anorexic. Or bulemic. I just want to DIE....

Mia<|3

Have been trying to throw up my meals but sometimes it just doesn't work. And now i'm bingeing. Fuck me. xD
Why do i love food so much. It rules my life. I just dunno anymore...