I guess you could call me anorexic. I'm 5'10 & weigh 112...I'm trying to get to 100. But my family makes me eat too much. & my sister said that if i don't start eating more then i can't go to the gymn anymore...being 16 fucking sucks. I can't wait till i have a house of my own so i can cut & starve into oblivian. I feel so horrible when i eat. I just wanna lose weight& get more skinny. It's so hard though. But i promise i won't ever give up. I hope someday i weigh 85. I want to be nothing more than a skeleton. Don't ask me why i just can't get it out of my head. This eating disorder is starting to slowly take over my life & i just want more & more. Skinny is how i feel good about myself. Skinny is what makes me feel beautiful, like a model. I would just die if i ever gained any more weight. If it wasn't for my family i could go weeks without eating. But no, they make me eat shit every fucking day. They want me to gain weight, say i'm underweight. What the fuck?! It's my body, & since i have to hold it out on the cutting for a while, i need this ED to take the place. My eating disorder is the main focus of my life now. No more will i binge eat. & i've tried purging but it doesn't work! I don't have a gag reflex or something. What do you think?
So anywho, it's half past 12 now & i'm kinda tired. I will post more tomorrow.
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