Exasperated.

I feel like I'll never get this weight off me!! Saw my nutritionist today who right after weighing me, said "So, I'm guessing you're still not eating?" I'm not sure if she thought I'd lost any weight or not. I mean, sometimes I feel like I have lost weight, because some parts of me seem to be shrinking. But I look in the mirror and I still look fat! Or "healthy", however you call it. My fucking stomach won't go away. I don't want to have an ideal or healthy body anymore. I just want to be sick skinny. Stick skinny. You get the picture.

I ate yogurt this morning (90), one bite of a chocolate candy (which I'm guessing was around 50 calories) and veggie chips for dinner (150). BUT I really am not sure how much the candy was so I still feel like shit. I am hungry as fuck, though. Brought up some reeses cups and kisses to chew and spit tonight. I am always craving chocolate, among other deserts. I'd really like to chew and spit marshmallows too, but my sister would notice them missing, seeing as they're on the kitchen counter. Oh well...

I'll try to do some exercises before I chew & spit. I REALLY REALLY want to lose weight so bad. I am so exasperated with my body, just like how everyone around me is exasperated with me.